Another summer

After the heat of the last two days, today is a little bit cooler.  Decided to wash out the patio furniture and BBQ grill.  What a mess!!! Have not seen so much dried leaves wedged between the furniture and the flower pots in the backyard .... it's quite a project shifting things around and sweeping out the debris.

It's well past 7.30pm before I am finished with the project .... yuck!

My back is beginning to protest, so, I stop and walk out to the garden and plant some petunias.  from the corner of my eye I see a little flicker in the air .... oh ... could that have been a little firefly. I stare hard at the spot, could have been my imagination.  I walk to the front door turn around and there it is more flickering in the background. Oh yes, the fire flies are here, I am so happy to see them. 

Those little lights floating in the air bring so much joy and happiness. My spirit lifts up and I am happy to be outside to witness these wonderful summer friends.

Now I am eager to stay outside, but I need a shower badly....

An hour later I am back in the back yard, and the whole neighbourhood is swamped with little light dancing in the air.  I smile and welcome these little friends.  I enjoy tremendously the return of the fire flies every summer.  Without doubt I make it a point to look out for them every season.

Fire flies how beautiful their flickering lights .... how uplifting to just watch, admire and take in the wonder of the fire flies.

He saw my tears and heard my prayers ......

One Friday afternoon, my body was wrecked in sobs and my heart was filled with a deep sorrow for my dearest brother Irven George Gomes @ Mohd Taufik who passed away on May 7, 2012 .... I could not bear the sorrow and so curled up in bed and I cried out, "Jesus, Jesus, help me, please help me ...!" than I lay my head on the pillow and fell asleep.

Unbeknowest to me ..... Jesus did hear my plea and saw my tears and as I slept, Jesus was healing my broken heart and my wounded soul and taking away all the sorrow and the pain.

A week later, while I was napping I dreamt of Irven .... in my dream, I saw Ivan seated between my bed and a table in the bedroom .... I was so happy to see him :

me: "Ivan, I have been looking for you"
(looking up at me),
Irven: "why?"
me: "I wanted to tell you that I love you."
(than walking towards Irven, I took his hand and laid it on my heart and said,)
me: "we all love you Irven."
(Irven, had a shocked look on his face, his eyes began to tear, he put his head down and he disappeared ...)

I woke up and I started to smile, I  could not contain my happiness and jumped out of bed and ran to the Den to relate the dream to Ken.

From that moment on, my heart was filled with so much joy and happiness, I felt all the sorrow and the sadness just vanish, literally the burden had been lifted.

Now whenever I think of Irven, I am able to whisper that, "I love you Irven", without the pain and the tears.

Yes, Jesus Christ, my Saviour has brought healing to my wounded heart, don't get me wrong, I still feel sad at loosing Irven, but now, I am filled with hope, knowing that God is taking care of Irven.  Now I am able to move on.

Thank you Jesus, I praise You, I Glorify Your Most Holy Name and I love You Jesus.
My Lord and My God, all power and all glory are Yours now and forever .... amen.

I'll See You Again

How I miss you .... we were so blessed to have you in our life.  You will always be with me dearest Ivan, you're gone but not forgotten.  I will always think of you and I know that I will see you again.  This is what keeps me going .... how could I have not realised how important you were to me, to all of us.
There are days when I still cry .... I am so sad that you are not here with us.  Did not think that I would live to see the day when you leave us behind.  Miss not having you here.  I love you so much Ivan, and now my days are filled with so much sadness and sorrow.
Siti did a great job at your burial site.  Now you have a beautiful head stone and your grave site is very nice.  Sit still loves you and I know that she misses you lots.  Siti loves you so much and it's difficult for her at times, so much memories and with having to take care of the girls.
I cry but all my tears will not turn back the clock.  I try to let you go but it is so hard, I feel so alone in my sorrow, don't want to burden anyone with my sorrow .... I miss you Ivan, my brother, my heart is so shattered .....