Autumn in Cragsmoor

We took a drive down  the mountain amongst the lovely wooded road. The trees so lovely in their vibrant colors of amber, orange yellow and burning red.
All along the roads we were  surrounded by such Autumn beauty, glorious and uplifting and for a moment the feeling is wondrous.
Autumn is upon us once again, it's so beautiful up in the mountains of Cragsmoor.
I am grateful to being here. I am so very blessed to have a home up in the mountains.

It's cold in the early morning and at dusk.  Have not planted any of the bulbs, tomorrow is always another day.  It's  hard  work but the planting has to be done well before the first frost.

There is not enough time in the day for menial task, Sable has to be fed, her litter box has to be taken care off. I have to drag my body out of bed. The meals have to be prepped before going to work at the department store, there is so much to do, pickup, take care of ... I am tired and weary.

One day at a time, one step at a time .... everything wears me down now that I am in the autumn of my life.

This feeling that I feel

I get this feeling once again, I cannot understand it, I cannot reason it out. I get this feeling and I just don't know how to deal with it.
I get this feeling and my world is in a spin, I get this feeling and I just  want to be alone. I get this feeling and I don't like it. I get this feeling all over again.
Grasping at nothingness, longing for the voice of  a brother now gone forever. Missing the family unit that was not even tangible.
I get this feeling and life is so lonely. I get this feeling and I just can't help but cry ....