Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.   

His house is in the village though;   

He will not see me stopping here   

To watch his woods fill up with snow.   

My little horse must think it queer   

To stop without a farmhouse near   

Between the woods and frozen lake   

The darkest evening of the year.   

He gives his harness bells a shake   

To ask if there is some mistake.   

The only other sound’s the sweep   

Of easy wind and downy flake.   

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep.

One more ladies outing

We gathered at Long Horn's despite the inclement weather, it was snowing when Analyn picked me up for our rendezvous.

Why do we even bother .... same scenario ... one - the same person - will be dissatisfied with the menu, have a very demeaning attitude towards the service people, while the rest of us in the party will try to appease the said person.  Food not to her liking ..... service people not friendly enough .... menu not extensive enough ....

We eat, we drink, we gossip and than it's time to leave .... and it's still snowing!

In retrospect, I was looking forward to the gathering, woke up early for my 9am hair salon appointment, the hair was a disaster, but like a trooper, accepted the curly wurly hair, dressed according to the dress code of red and black, put on my boots and skipped out to the car in anticipation of the wonderful dinner ahead with girl friends.

We will do this one more time in the summer, minus the one with the issues!!!!

A little shift in the rituals

Another celebration and I've overlooked sending out a card. It's been so hectic at the house with all the renovation works, I don't know where anything is anymore. I have missed sending out all the January and February birthday greetings.  Than again, I say to myself I am taking a break from all these greeting card mailing rituals, seems like I am just tired of it all.  It used to bring me such happiness addressing the cards in advanced and calculating the time it would take for the card to arrive. 
Too much energy and effort needed for this simple task.  Everything is an effort these days.
This year 2014 is the year I am taking a break from this ritual ... maybe I will just sit back and relax, this year I will take it easy.
Expanding too much energy trying to stay in touch and hoping that the people in my life will stay connected. I get caught up in life and than realize a phone call or a little chat time will suffice.
Than all those cards that is sitting in boxes in the closet will have to remain unsent until I am able to bring myself back into a proper frame of mind to be able to allocate, address and sent out the cards.
God will provide the energy and motivation, until than I am taking a break .....

Nothing satisfies ...

Eating when I am hungry, I taste the food, my hunger is filled and yet, I am not satisfied.  There is something that is missing, there is something that I just cannot comprehend, something that is missing. Why am I not satisfied. I feel this listlessness once again, it's only the 2nd week in February of 2014 and already I am so weary. 

This longing ... something is missing .... I want to reach out and grab it, I want to consume it .... but it's so elusive, whatever is missing .... whatever it is that needs to make me whole .... something is missing.

Nothing satisfies any more, I am gaining weight each day, trying to satiate this hunger, but I know it's not the food that is causing this craving, but food is my comfort for the moment.

Where are you my brother? where are you, as the day draws nearer to my trip back home, I dread having to face the emptiness of not seeing you greet me at the airport, I am dreading having to see you buried in the ground. I miss you so much, the tears I thought has dried, fills my eyes once again, when will the pain ease, when will I stop missing you.

I long to hear your voice, to see your smile, to hear you call me Barber once again .... I miss you so much.  Where are you my brother?

I just want curl up in bed and not have to face the day .... I want to hide from the pain.  It's not easy having to face the loneliness, it isn't easy having to confront the reality of you buried in the ground.

There is the emptiness in my heart that will not be filled, an emptiness that makes me yearn. Nothing brings any satisfaction anymore since I lost you my brother.