Four Years Today

The day almost went by with me being so oblivious to it .... time and space....have I finally accepted your absence. I don't know. Could it be I am so pressed for time these days, everything goes by in a blur ...the days running together.

Facing new challenges daily, sometimes I almost want to curl up in bed and not face the day. I have been in a funk these couple of days, everything seems too hard to handle, it feels like the walls are closing in on me.

I try to stay positive ...

Here, I am today, it's been four years already and I let it slip by just so easily. I am sorry ... please know that I still think of you and that I do miss you. I have questioned your actions, I have wondered about our relationship at times, some bring pain, others just a shrug of the shoulder, not wanting to know the answers.

Still, I miss you, the family is stuggling since you left us...we're still trying to mend bridges, not everyone in on the same page anymore. For the moment, I don't even know how many camps are in existence, the sad reality is that some of us have strayed from the family unit.

We make choices, they make choice ....everyone chooses their own path and we accept these choices and than we decide to cut them from our lives. Tell me is this accepting their choices, is this how we support them.

I cannot get it together sometimes....some leader I am !! I don't know how to guide and manage everything like you did ....

I still keep trying though...sometimes I succeed, and sometimes I fail, most times I just give up. I don't know the answers to many situations. I wish my faith was as strong as yours. I wish I could get by with just a pray or lots of pray.

I look at the stars at night and I am reminded of you, I watch the birds if flight and I am reminded of you, I feel the breeze blowing and I am reminded of you .....

Please continue to pray for us. Be at peace.

We love you and miss you still!