Live your own life

God does not impose His will on you.  He allows you to make choices, this we say is free will.  Now on the other hand why do we expect others to conform to what we expect of them  Why do we get disappointed and angry when others do not do what we expect of them.

Many times I have requested family and friends for favours and than I am disappointed, get angry,
 when they do not fulfill my favours.  How can I expect others to live my life?  Why do I allow anger and heart ache to consume me when I feel  a betrayal of my wishes.  They too have free will, even if they agreed to grant me a favour it does not mean they cannot change their minds.  It is their choice, they are also entitled to their free will.

Could be that I hold fast to the rule that "I am my word" , than again it is my rule in life not theirs, they have their own rules or not, but still that is their choice to make.

When I realise all these, I am less angry with them, but am surprised at how heavy handed I can be.  Going forward, I will make it a point to remember that everyone has choices.  Everyone is walking their own road, making their own journey, who am I to expect them to take a detour and to fill in the gap in my road.

So I cannot be at places or spend time with people I love.  I will learn to accept these situations and just do the best given the circumstances.  Yes, I can support and help along the way.  It is always easier to tell someone what they need to do in the disguise of advice.  But, really it is more of dictating what and how they should live their life.  According to my expectations.

This has got to stop, than maybe all this disappointments and restlessness will finally be lifted.  My spirit will be at peace. 

What do I do than, do I have to pick up the pieces and restore order.  Will this wear me out time and time again.  I suppose this is when I will remember to "leave places and situations better than when I arrived and if I cannot than I will leave them the way they were not worse than before." 

Funny how I seem to remember all these lessons when I amcontemplating my predicament.  But in reality, I forget all these lessons and just react without thought, in the moment and with a lot of drama and tears and self pity.

It is not easy to live my own life and let others live theirs.  No, I always want to dictate how they should behave.  What they have to do.  I have to realise this will only make me happy and contend but I forget that they will habour resentment towards me and thus become unhappy and discontented with their situation having someone dictating their lives.

Yes, just walk away from the chaos, and if I cannot tolerate the chaos than organise it because I like every thing neat and tidy, so it is my choice to organise someone else's mess and be happy with the choices that I made and not be resentful that I am the one bringing order to chaos.  I cannot expect them to be grateful for this or to expect them to follow my example.  It is their choice.  I can only lead by example and hope that it will make a difference.