Distress signals

A friend called today to unload her story. My heart aches every time I hear how much she is made a victim. I think to myself another drama unfolding in her life, but, when I hear her cry and the depression deep in her inner being, an alarm sets off in the near region of my brain.

I shout advise ..... I scold ..... I cajole...... I do everything to try to fix the situation. I forget that she does not want me to fix her situation, she does not want me to advise .... all she needed was a friend. Someone to listen, to empathize without judgement. She needed to know there was someone out there who cared enough to just allow her to cry and to listen to her stories.

Needless to say we have been down this road a thousand times and yet I am still making mistakes and I am still learning. Perhaps it's me who needs to learn lessons from our interactions, from our relationship. I have to learn to keep quiet and just listen. Perhaps once I learn to stop giving advise and to stop trying to fix the problem, we will both travel a different route, one I hope where she will be happier and content and I will just be happy to hold her hand.

For now, I have to deal with my response and my behavior to her cry for help ..... I have to learn from my mistakes and try to heal my lack of understanding of the true meaning of being a friend ......... listen without judgement ...... listen without voicing out solutions ...... listen without condemning.